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Stories:
An Interview with Nicole Kidman
 She may seem to have it all: a glamorous lifestyle, a new husband, two adopted children, homes in Nashville and Sydney and a challenging career as an A-list actress, yet Nicole Kidman is still trying to resolve the traditional dilemmas of balancing relationships, work and home.
But the Australian actress's divorce from Tom Cruise in 2001 and her marriage earlier this year to country-music star Keith Urban appear to have given her a new-found stability and certain serenity.
Although her husband of four months has since checked into rehab after relapsing, the way Nicole speaks of the strength of the relationship leaves you in no doubt these two will go the distance.
She is said to be totally supporting Urban while he seeks treatment for alcohol and drug addictions, and cancelled all press engagements to be at his side.
Her new film is 'Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus'. Under the direction of Steven Shainberg, who made 'Secretary', Nicole's Arbus is a visionary artist and photographer with a fertile and fevered imagination.
You seem to have so much - how does that feel?
Is this question really: 'Am I happy?'
Well, it changes minute by minute. I feel very grateful and obviously I have an enormous amount and I have been given an enormous amount, and at times that can be overwhelming. You get scared that it will all be taken away from you. You want to walk thrYou seem to have so much - how does that feel?ough your life with as much grace and dignity and generosity as you can and never take any of that for granted.
Things have changed a lot since Diane Arbus's days in the 1950s, when it was much harder for a wife and mother to express her creativity...
I think it is still a quandary in a way, the push-pull between wanting to express yourself artistically, and the desire to be devoted to your relationship. It is very complicated for a lot of people, whether in the 1950s or now. In some ways you feel it's a betrayal if you go and explore your artistic path.
I do, because it requires such devotion and it requires you to exist in a different way that the person you're with will never experience. That has always been a big thing for me: how do you find that balance?
When I got divorced, I was able to go and explore artistically because I didn't feel I was betraying my relationship. So you hopefully find someone who understands you and what is necessary to your existence in the world.
Do you think you and Keith will collaborate on a project one day, and why are creative types drawn to each other?
No, we are not going to work together! I think there is a reason people who are artistic are drawn to each other; there is an inherent understanding, but at the same time you don't choose who you fall in love with.
Do you like living in Nashville?
I feel very protected there. I like living somewhere that isn't a big city - I like open space and being able to ride horses.
As a Catholic, what are your thoughts on fidelity in marriage?
I have very strict ideas about sexual fidelity in relation to myself and the person I'm with. I wouldn't want that to be compromised. There are so many different ways you can use fidelity. It is a fascinating part of our lives: emotional fidelity, sexual fidelity... all of those things. It is something I don't have any answers to, but I'm trying to find out about. I think artistically you can explore many, many things in terms of your imagination and your desires, and all of those things can go into your work.
Why did you want to play Diane Arbus?
I collect an enormous amount of black and white photography, I have a lot of Man Rays and I'm fascinated by Lee Miller and Man Ray. I knew about Arbus just because I've collected black and white photography for a very long time, but I didn't know the intricacies of her life. I went and saw the exhibit at the Met and I was able to walk through that for a couple of hours and absorb her that way.
I then read the Patricia Bosworth biography of Diane Arbus. But the film is not a biopic. It is a small, small portion of her life and it is called an imaginary portrait because it is more about walking into your creativity, discovering what you are inside and what you want to say to the world.
In real life you're always being chased by photographers - what was it like to play one?
The way in which a great photographer views the world is fascinating because I think you have it in your blood in the same way I think you have acting - or your art, whatever that is - in your blood from the minute you're born. I don't know how you get it, where it comes from, why it is there but if you have the opportunity to discover and explore it, you are very, very grateful. I do believe Arbus had that, so my way of trying to play her was more trying to capture her inner thoughts. I think a photographer is able to see images that speak to them. But the amazing thing about Arbus, though, was that she could also write. The way in which she was able to put a lot of thoughts on paper was so clear and beautiful.
You've played several real people - what's the appeal?
I think playing someone who has existed in the world is that obviously you are interpreting them through yourself. It happened to me when I played Virginia [Woolf]; it happened to me when I played Arbus. Something happens where you are discovering things about them that you recognise, that you feel. That is why you choose to play them and it is an incredibly deep spiritual connection that occurs. Both ultimately committed suicide and there is a very strange relationship that starts to happen and they don't leave you, they imprint on you in a particular way. It is hard to talk about it, because it's quite mysterious and quite beautiful.
Are you still comfortable doing nude scenes?
Honestly, is it that big a deal? You say you're going to do something for a film because you believe in it artistically; you don't censor yourself emotionally. If the love scenes and the nudity is a necessity for the piece and not exploitative then they don't actually weigh that heavily on me.
What are you doing as a UN ambassador at the moment?
I'm in the process of educating myself in terms of women's rights and violence against women around the world. The Kosovo trip was part of that. There is also a trip to India and a number of trips before the end of the year.
This is my education this year, and next year is when I will be tackling a lot of the issues. I don't want to do anything until I've actually been to and seen a lot of the world, heard stories and compiled the information. The women who run Unifem are so dedicated to what they do, and my commitment is to them. At this stage it's too early to be discussing things - I couldn't bear to be sitting here and not be able to actually answer your questions and deal with things in depth. I'm not capable of doing that yet, so next year.
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